For Survivors: What could it mean for me if I still feel affected by what happened?
- Aug 8
- 3 min read
There may be moments when you wonder why what happened still hurts.
Maybe you thought you would feel better by now.
Maybe you have tried to move forward, focus on your life, and put the experience behind you. But then a memory, feeling, or reminder brings everything back.
You may find yourself asking:
“Why am I still affected by this?”
“Shouldn’t I be over it by now?”
“What is wrong with me that this still hurts?”
If you are still experiencing pain after sexual assault, it does not mean you are failing to heal.
Experiencing ongoing effects after trauma can be a part of how your mind and body respond to something that was deeply overwhelming.
Sexual assault is not only an event that happened in the past. For many survivors, the impact can continue to affect how they feel about themselves, their relationships, their safety, and their ability to trust.
Research on trauma has shown that traumatic experiences can affect emotional responses, memory, and a person’s sense of safety long after the event has occurred (Herman, 1992; Brewin, 2014).
Sometimes, the pain you feel today may not only be about remembering what happened. It may also be connected to what you lost, what changed, or what you had to do to survive.
You may be carrying questions such as:
“Why didn’t I speak up sooner?”
“Why did I respond the way I did?”
“Why does this still affect my relationships?”
These are questions many survivors carry.
Healing is not about forgetting what happened or forcing yourself to move on. Healing can involve understanding your experiences, having compassion for yourself, rebuilding a sense of safety, and finding ways to live your life while honoring what you have been through.
You may want to gently reflect:
What feelings come up when I think about what happened?
What situations make things feel harder for me?
What has helped me feel safe, supported, or grounded?
Many survivors find ways to cope that helped them survive difficult experiences. These may include staying busy, avoiding painful memories, taking care of others, staying quiet, disconnecting from emotions, or trying to manage everything alone.
These responses may have helped you get through something painful.
You may now be asking whether there are new ways to support yourself.
Healing can include learning to listen to what you need today—not only what helped you survive in the past.
If you feel ready, specialized sexual trauma counselling can provide a supportive space to explore your experiences, understand trauma responses, and begin working through the impact of what happened.
You do not need to have the “right words” before reaching out.
You do not need to explain everything perfectly.
You deserve support, care, and a space where your experience can be heard.
You Don't Have To Carry This Alone
If this blog resonates with you, know that support is available.
At our clinic, we specialize in supporting survivors of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault. We provide a compassionate, trauma-informed space where you can make sense of your experiences, reduce shame, and move toward healing with the support you deserve.
If you're wondering whether therapy could help—or if you'd simply like to learn more about your options—we invite you to reach out to us. We would be honoured to walk alongside you on your healing journey.
Website: www.nadajohnson.com
Email: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Phone: 437-887-6146
About the Author
Nada Johnson, BA, MSW, RSW, is a Trauma Therapist at Beyond Crisis™, a specialized counselling service providing trauma-informed online counselling for teen girls (14+) and women across Ontario, Canada who have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault.
Disclaimer
This blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered psychological, therapeutic, medical, or legal advice. This blog is not intended to replace professional mental health care, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Every survivor’s experience of sexual trauma and healing is unique. Reading this blog does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you would like individualized guidance, we invite you to contact our practice to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation. Fees apply for clinical services provided beyond the initial consultation.
References
Brewin, C. R. (2014). Episodic memory, perceptual memory, and their interaction: Foundations for a theory of posttraumatic stress disorder. Psychological Bulletin, 140(1), 69–97.
Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books.
