When Trust Feels Impossible: Learning to Let Safe People In After Childhood Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault

For many women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault, trust can feel complicated.

You may be able to trust people in certain areas of your life. You may be a caring friend, a dedicated professional, a loving parent, or someone others rely on.

But letting someone truly close to you can feel much harder.

You may find yourself thinking:

“What if they hurt me?”

“What if they leave once they really know me?”

“What if I trust them and regret it?”

“What if their kindness changes?”

If this feels familiar, you are not alone.

Many survivors struggle with allowing people into their inner world—not because they do not want connection, but because their experiences taught them that closeness could come with danger.

When Trust Has Been Broken

Childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault can impact more than memories of what happened.

They can affect the way you experience safety, relationships, vulnerability, and connection.

When someone who should have protected you harmed you—or when people who should have supported you failed to believe you—it can create a deep wound around trust.

You may have learned:

“Keep your guard up.”

“Do not depend on anyone.”

“Do not let people get too close.”

“Protect yourself before someone else hurts you.”

These beliefs often developed for a reason.

They were ways your mind and body tried to keep you safe.

The challenge is that what protected you in the past may make it difficult to experience the safety and closeness you deserve today.

Trust Is Not About Blindly Letting People In

Healing does not mean forcing yourself to trust everyone.

It does not mean ignoring your instincts or removing your boundaries.

Healthy trust is built slowly.

Trust is built when someone:

• Respects your boundaries

• Listens when you say no

• Takes responsibility when they make mistakes

• Shows consistency over time

• Makes you feel safe being yourself

  
  

You do not have to give someone full access to your life immediately.

You are allowed to let trust grow gradually.

You are allowed to observe.

You are allowed to choose who earns a deeper place in your life.

Learning to Receive Care

For some survivors, receiving kindness can feel just as difficult as giving trust.

A compliment may feel suspicious.

Support may feel uncomfortable.

Someone caring about you may bring up fear instead of comfort.

You may wonder:

“Do they really mean it?”

“What do they want from me?”

“When will this change?”

These thoughts often come from a history where kindness was not always safe or where love came with conditions.

Healing can include learning that safe care exists.

It can include allowing yourself to experience relationships where you do not have to perform, prove yourself, or earn your place.

You Deserve Relationships Where You Feel Safe

Your past may have taught you to protect yourself.

Your future can include connection.

You can have boundaries and still be loved.

You can be cautious and still build trust.

You can protect yourself while also allowing safe people to know you.

At our practice, we believe survivors first. Period. Full stop.

We understand that childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault can impact the way women experience trust, intimacy, relationships, and their sense of self.

Our counselling support focuses on helping women restore what trauma has impacted:

Trust — reconnecting with yourself, your voice, and safe relationships.

Dignity — remembering that what happened to you does not define your worth.

Belonging — knowing that you deserve connection, acceptance, and relationships where you are valued.

Self-worth — rediscovering that you are deserving of care, respect, and love.

You do not have to navigate this alone.

We are here to support you as you heal, rebuild trust, and create relationships where you feel safe, respected, and truly seen.

Website: www.nadajohnson.com 

Email: info@nadajohnsonservices.com

Phone: 437-887-6146

Disclaimer: This blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered psychological, therapeutic, or legal advice. Every situation is unique. If you would like individualized guidance, we invite you to contact our practice to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation. Fees apply for clinical services provided beyond the initial consultation.