Beyond Crisis™ : Why Might a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse Find Herself in a Coercively Controlling Relationship?
- Jul 27
- 3 min read
Family lawyers supporting female survivors of childhood sexual abuse may encounter an important question:
“Why would a woman who experienced abuse as a child later find herself in a coercively controlling relationship?”
The answer requires a trauma-informed understanding of how early experiences of harm can affect trust, boundaries, self-worth, and relationships.
It is important to recognize that not all female survivors of childhood sexual abuse experience future abuse or coercive control.
However, research shows that childhood interpersonal trauma is associated with an increased risk of revictimization for some survivors (Classen et al., 2005).
Understanding this connection is not about blaming survivors. It is about understanding the impact of trauma.
How Childhood Sexual Abuse Can Affect Relationships
Childhood sexual abuse can affect a survivor’s sense of safety, trust, and connection with others.
Some survivors may experience challenges with:
Recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns
Trusting their own instincts
Setting boundaries
Feeling deserving of safety and respect
Trauma can influence how survivors understand relationships and respond to situations involving power, control, and conflict (Herman, 1992).
These responses are not weaknesses. They may reflect adaptations developed in response to earlier experiences of harm.
Understanding Coercive Control
Coercive control involves ongoing patterns of intimidation, manipulation, isolation, or control that limit a person’s autonomy, usually a woman's autonomy.
It may include:
Monitoring behaviours
Financial control
Emotional manipulation
Threats or intimidation
Gaslighting
Love bombing
Restricting access to support systems
Research on coercive control highlights that abuse is often about maintaining power and control rather than isolated incidents of conflict (Stark, 2007).
For survivors with histories of childhood sexual trauma, recognizing these patterns may be complicated by previous experiences where boundaries were violated or unsafe dynamics were normalized.
Why This Matters in Family Court
Coercive control can continue after separation and may affect how survivors participate in family court.
A survivor may:
Struggle to assert her needs
Agree to arrangements that do not feel safe
Avoid conflict with the other parent
Appear uncertain or overwhelmed
These responses may be influenced by fear, trauma, or previous experiences of control.
A trauma-informed approach does not determine legal outcomes.
It encourages professionals to consider the context behind a survivor’s responses.
Supporting Survivors Beyond Family Court
At Beyond Crisis™, we provide specialized trauma-informed counselling for women and teen girls (14+) who have experienced childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault.
Counselling with us can support survivors in understanding trauma responses, rebuilding self-trust, confidence, strengthening boundaries, and developing healthier relationships.
Our role is not to provide legal opinions or influence family court decisions. We provide emotional support that complements the work of family lawyers and other professionals.
We continue to welcome collaboration with family lawyers supporting survivors through separation, parenting disputes, and family court proceedings in Ontario, Canada.
Professional referrals, collaboration opportunities, and new client inquiries are currently welcomed. To discuss referrals or connect with our team, please contact us at:
A Moment for Reflection
When a survivor struggles to assert boundaries or make decisions during family court, how might understanding trauma and coercive control influence the way her responses are interpreted?
About the Author
Nada Johnson, BA, MSW, RSW
Founder, Clinical Director, Sexual Trauma Therapist
Beyond Crisis™ Professional Resource Series is a professional resource series developed by Nada Johnson, Founder and Clinical Director of our sexual trauma counselling specialty clinic within our broader private practice at Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services. These series are for professionals supporting teen girls and women healing from the impacts of sexual abuse and sexual assault as well as couples and families impacted by sexual trauma. The focus is on exploring common questions, clinical considerations, and reflections related to sexual trauma recovery and specialized sexual trauma counselling.
References
Classen, C. C., Palesh, O. G., & Aggarwal, R. (2005). Sexual revictimization: A review of the empirical literature. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 6(2), 103–129.
Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books.
Stark, E. (2007). Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life. Oxford University Press.
Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and reflects a trauma-informed counselling perspective. It does not provide legal advice, clinical advice, clinical consultation, or guidance on legal strategy.
