Resources for Survivors: What could it mean for me if I thought I had moved forward, but painful feelings have returned?
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
You may have reached a point where you felt like you were moving forward after experiencing sexual assault.
Maybe you felt more like yourself again. Maybe you were rebuilding relationships, focusing on your goals, returning to activities you enjoy, or finding moments of peace.
Then, unexpectedly, painful feelings returned.
A memory surfaced. A feeling of fear came back. You noticed anxiety, sadness, anger, shame, or a sense of feeling disconnected.
You may find yourself asking:
“Why is this happening again?”
“Does this mean I have not healed?”
“Why does it still affect me?”
If painful feelings return, it does not mean that you have lost the progress you have made.
Healing after sexual abuse or sexual assault is not always a straight path.
Many survivors experience periods where they feel stronger and more stable, followed by moments when difficult emotions or memories return.
Sometimes, these feelings may appear after something reminds you of what happened. A relationship, a life change, a stressful event, a conversation, or a situation where you feel vulnerable can bring forward emotions connected to past experiences. Trauma can affect the way memories, emotions, and body responses are experienced.
Research has shown that traumatic experiences may influence how memories are stored and recalled, and reminders of the trauma can sometimes trigger strong emotional responses even when a person is currently safe (Brewin, 2014).
You may wonder:
“Why am I reacting this way when I thought I was okay?”
Your response may be connected to the ways your mind and body have learned to protect you after experiencing something overwhelming.
It may be helpful to gently reflect:
What was happening in my life when these feelings returned?
What emotions, thoughts, or body sensations am I noticing?
What has helped me cope during difficult moments in the past?
Many survivors develop ways of coping that help them move through painful experiences. This may include connecting with supportive people, creating routines, practicing grounding strategies, spending time in places that feel safe, journaling, caring for your body, or engaging in activities that help you reconnect with yourself.
You might also ask:
Are the ways I have been coping still helping me now?
Do I need more support during this part of my healing?
Sometimes, returning emotions can be an opportunity to seek additional support—not because you have failed, but because you may be carrying something that has been difficult to process alone.
Specialized sexual trauma counselling can provide a safe and supportive space to explore the impact of sexual assault, understand trauma responses, and develop coping strategies that support healing.
You do not have to wait until things feel unbearable to reach out.
Support can be part of healing at any point in your journey.
You Don't Have To Carry This Alone
If this blog resonates with you, know that support is available.
At our clinic, we specialize in supporting survivors of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault. We provide a compassionate, trauma-informed space where you can make sense of your experiences, reduce shame, and move toward healing with the support you deserve.
If you're wondering whether therapy could help—or if you'd simply like to learn more about your options—we invite you to reach out to us. We would be honoured to walk alongside you on your healing journey.
Website: www.nadajohnson.com
Email: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Phone: 437-887-6146
About the Author
Nada Johnson, BA, MSW, RSW, is the Clinical Director and Trauma Therapist at Beyond Crisis™, a specialized counselling service providing trauma-informed online counselling for teen girls (14+) and women across Ontario, Canada who have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault.
Disclaimer
This article is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional mental health care, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Every survivor’s experience of sexual trauma and healing is unique. If you are experiencing distress or would like support, consider connecting with a qualified mental health professional who specializes in sexual trauma.
References
Brewin, C. R. (2014). Episodic memory, perceptual memory, and their interaction: Foundations for a theory of posttraumatic stress disorder. Psychological Bulletin, 140(1), 69–97.
Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books
