People Tell Me to "Move On." Here's Why It's Not That Simple

A Note Before You Read

This post discusses trauma responses related to childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault. Some readers may find this topic emotionally activating. Please read at your own pace and take care of yourself while engaging with this material. If needed, take a break, use grounding strategies, or reach out to someone you trust for support.

You've finally decided to tell someone what happened.

Maybe it's a friend, a family member, or even someone you've trusted for years.

You share a small part of your story, hoping to be understood.

Instead, you hear:

"That happened a long time ago."

"You need to move on."

"Don't let it define you."

"Just focus on the future."

Even if these words were meant to help, they can leave you feeling misunderstood, ashamed, or wondering if something is wrong with you.

Healing Is Not a Choice You Simply Make

For survivors of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault, healing isn't as simple as deciding to leave the past behind.

Trauma doesn't only affect memories—it can affect the nervous system, emotions, relationships, and sense of safety.

You may logically know the abuse is over, yet your body still reacts to reminders, certain situations, or even specific dates.

This isn't because you're refusing to move forward.

It's because trauma changes how the brain and body respond to experiences of danger.

"Moving On" Looks Different for Everyone

Many survivors worry they should be "over it" by now.

But healing isn't measured by how quickly you stop thinking about what happened.

It often looks like:

• Understanding your reactions instead of judging them.

• Feeling safer in your own body.

• Learning to trust others again.

• Setting healthy boundaries.

• Finding moments of peace alongside difficult memories.

  
  

Healing is rarely a straight line. There may be periods when life feels easier and times when old feelings resurface.

That doesn't mean you've gone backwards.

Why Comments Like "Move On" Can Be Harmful

Although people often have good intentions, comments like these can unintentionally increase shame.

Survivors may begin to believe:

"Maybe I'm too sensitive."

"Maybe I should be coping better."

"Maybe there's something wrong with me."

The reality is that your response makes sense in light of what you've lived through.

Recovery is not about pretending the abuse never happened.

It's about learning that what happened no longer has to control your life.

What Can Help Instead?

If you've been told to "move on," it may help to remember:

Your healing does not have to follow someone else's timeline.

You do not need to justify why you're still affected.

You deserve compassion—from others and from yourself.

Sometimes the most healing words are not advice at all.

Sometimes they are simply:

"I believe you."

"What happened to you mattered."

"You don't have to go through this alone."

When Professional Support May Help

If the effects of childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault continue to affect your relationships, daily life, or sense of safety, therapy can help.

Working with a trauma-informed therapist can provide a safe space to process your experiences, understand your responses, and move toward healing at a pace that feels right for you.

Healing isn't about forgetting.

It's about reclaiming your life from what happened to you.

You Don't Have To Carry This Alone

If this blog resonates with you, know that support is available.

At our practice, we specialize in supporting survivors of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault. We provide a compassionate, trauma-informed space where you can make sense of your experiences, reduce shame, and move toward healing with the support you deserve.

If you're wondering whether therapy could help—or if you'd simply like to learn more about your options—we invite you to reach out to us. We would be honoured to walk alongside you on your healing journey.

Website: www.nadajohnson.com 

Email: info@nadajohnsonservices.com

Phone: 437-887-6146

Disclaimer

This blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered psychological, therapeutic, medical, or legal advice. Every individual's experiences and circumstances are unique. Reading this blog does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you would like individualized guidance, we invite you to contact our practice to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation. Fees apply for clinical services provided beyond the initial consultation.